My main special interests

  • Music - I have always loved music, and it’s rare you’ll find me out and about without my headphones blaring. I love live music and gigs are one of the rare crowded and loud environments that I actually enjoy, and where I feel a genuine connection with others. There are specific bands, albums and even songs that I will listen to on repeat for days or weeks, that help me process my feelings and tune out the noise of the rest of the world when I need to.
  • Words and language- reading, writing, learning foreign languages…these have all played a huge part in my life over the years. When the world is too big and loud, or when I struggle to express myself vocally, writing things down has always helped me to process emotions and difficult times.
  • Animals – whether it’s my pets that just seem to get me and tune into my mood, or spending time out in nature with animals, I feel instantly calmer around them. I often find animals easier than people, and they definitely don’t seem as judgmental or confusing!
  • Autism - I’d also say autism has become a special interest since my diagnosis, as I’ve dived into learning as much as I can about it.

Why they are important to me

Special interests help me to regulate myself. They provide comfort when I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed and a sense of familiarity and calm.  They can also be a great way of connecting with others, as they provide a way to open conversations and build connections with people who share my interests. Finding people who love the things I love and are passionate about those things is brilliant, but I also find other people’s special interests in general a great way to bond. There’s nothing better for me than watching and listening to someone describing something their passionate about.

What they mean to me

For me, special interests are key to taking care of myself and my mental health. They give me positives to focus on and help me to calm my nervous system. Most of my special interests are things which have followed me through my life, so they provide a sense of familiarity and comfort. They are a point of calm in a world that can feel very chaotic and unpredictable.

My relationship with my special interests

I’d say they are core to who I am, to my sense of identity. They help me to ground myself and regulate, and they give me something consistent to hold onto in a world that often feels chaotic and unfamiliar. They are things I go to when I feel anxious or stressed, that I can rely on to make me feel better. I struggle without them. I had a period of about two years after I had my son where I literally couldn’t read. I don’t know if it was hormones or sleep deprivation, but it was like my mind just couldn’t do it any more. I’d stare at a page of a magazine for half an hour and none of the words made sense. I found that really scary, because it took away something I loved, and something that was so core to who I am. Fortunately after a while it came back, but it definitely made me realise just how important it was for me.

How they have developed over time

Many of them have stayed the same, in terms of the main theme, but the smaller details have changed, so the types of music, book etc. But my main special interests are all things I’ve been passionate about since I was a child. Some I have dipped in and out of a little over the years, but I always come back to them.

How my special interests have influenced my life

I suppose my love of words and language naturally translated into my studies at college and university. I initially studied languages, and my degree is in English. I taught English for a few years, which allowed me to really dive into it, although since then my career has moved into a field that isn’t really connected to any of my special interests. I’ve recently completed a PG Cert in Autism, so you can see there what I mean by deep diving into it! I definitely find studying and learning easier when it’s linked to something I love.

Sharing my interests with others

I think in general I can be open about them, in a broad sense. The trouble comes more with the intensity of my interest. I find myself naturally holding back in terms of the amount of detail I’ll let myself go into when discussing them with other people. Over time I’ve learnt that most people really don’t want to know the details in the same way I do. That can be frustrating, as it feels like I have to censor myself on some situations. With people I’m really close to, it’s great to be able to really dive in, although I might give them a chance to grab a coffee first and really settle in!

Some things I wish allistic people understood about special interests

I think autistic special interests can often be pathologised. They are often seen as unhealthy obsessions, things we need to reduce or remove from our lives as they will have some sort of negative impact. I suppose it might be possible, depending on what your interest is, that it could be damaging in some rare instances, but in general we get so much joy, comfort and a sense of safety from them that I really don’t understand this narrative. If a non autistic person is passionate about something, no one makes out it’s a ‘symptom’ of anything bad, so why should ours be? In a world than can often be scary for us, let us find our moments of joy where we can please! And, if you really want to make our day, ask us about our special interest, in detail, and really let us talk to you. You never know what you might learn!