Reasonable adjustments give you an unfair advantage
This isn’t an autism-specific myth to be fair, it can be applied across all disabilities.
There seems to be a genuine belief that by offering accommodations and reasonable adjustments (a legal requirement in many situations), we are being given a head-start that is unfair to the non-disabled folks.
These adjustments are simply meant to even the playing field and remove barriers for us. They bring us up to the same starting point, they don’t put us ahead.
It’s incredibly hard to ask for support. You have to be very vulnerable to admit where you struggle and if that is met by people telling you that what you’re asking for is unfair, it’s pretty soul destroying, and often ends up with us struggling on without the needed support. Equality and equity come into play here, and the important difference between the two often just isn’t understood.
Autistic people hate socialising (and are bad at it).
This is just not true. Sure, some autistic people don’t like it, just as some neurotypical folks don’t. Maybe we’re more likely to be introverted, but I’m not even sure of that. I think often it’s more about context, and also past trauma. Many of us find socialising with other neurodivergent folk a lot easier, whereas it’s a constant struggle to keep up in interactions with neurotypicals. I definitely find this a lot of the time. The effort is exhausting, and I end up not really getting any benefit from the social interaction, so I tend to avoid it.
A lot of us, sadly, have experienced bullying or generally bad reception from others in past social situations, so it understandably puts us off.
But put me with other autistic people and it suddenly stops feeling hard, or scary, or tiring. With the right people, who are open, understanding and accept me as I am, I’m actually pretty social. I still prefer one to one or small group interactions, and I’d prefer a quiet environment. You won’t find me enjoying a big party or chatting in a loud and crowded café. It might not look the same as neurotypical sociality, but why should that matter if I’m getting enjoyment out of it?
That there is a ‘look’ to autism, or any neurodivergence.
“You don’t look autistic” is pretty insulting and frustratingly common to hear in our community. I’m honestly not sure what this ‘look’ is that we are meant to have. I suppose perhaps people are thinking about physical signs, like overt stimming, but even then, stimming takes so many forms and not all are particularly obvious to an onlooker. It goes back to the incorrect stereotypes of autistics as young white boys playing with trains. Clearly this isn’t true (and even those little white boys grow up…and that doesn’t seem to be accounted for in a lot of the stereotypes!) and it is beyond frustrating that there’s still so little common knowledge of just how different we can all be. This doesn’t help those of us with less stereotypical presentation getting diagnosed and it is just not a nice thing to hear. So, let’s kick that one right out of the window!
That we all have some sort of savant ability.
Now, I liked maths at school. I really liked it, and I was pretty good at it. I was, in pretty much every subject, a bit of a geek you might say. But this ridiculous Rainman stereotype is so damaging. I don’t have any special abilities that would fall into the savant category, and so many of us don’t. I feel this plays into the reductive and damaging ‘superpower vs tragedy’ narrative and people need to stop making assumptions about our skills or abilities. We are all individuals and would like to be treated as such.
And finally, I’m not sure this counts as a myth but I’m going to mention it because it’s important to me.
There seems to be a general feeling that autism is a scary topic. It’s taboo to talk about still in general, let alone be accepting and embracing of your own autistic identity.
My parents didn’t know I was autistic when I was growing up, but if they did, it’s quite likely a doctor would have told them they should grieve for the child they thought they were going to have. That’s an actual thing, even now, so I hear. It’s seen as such a black mark, still, in so many places. People are often scared of what they don’t understand, and we know there is a worrying lack of understanding and accurate information out in general society about autism. Is it all sunshine and rainbows? No, I have lots of things I struggle with and times that are hard. But I don’t feel ashamed of being autistic, and I don’t want to be expected to by society. What I’d actually love is for them to take the time to understand it a little better, and stop acting as though autism is a dirty word.