I love Christmas. Mostly. There are so many amazing things to look forward to. But it also comes with a lot of stress – which I know is probably the case for a lot of people, especially those of us who are parents of small children or who have other caring responsibilities. There are some things which, as an autistic person, I find particularly stressful about the festive season. Recently I’ve been working out how to better accommodate myself so I can reduce these stressors and celebrate Christmas in a way that works for me. ...
Autism isn’t a mental health problem. But poor mental health is often an autistic problem. This mental health awareness week is an interesting one for me, being the first one where I’ve known I am autistic. My mental health has suffered a lot over the years and a big part of that came from not knowing I was autistic, from not understanding how my brain works and trying to force myself to be something I wasn’t, and never could be. All that time, I felt incredibly alone. ...
I have never ‘brought my whole self to work’. I’m high-masking autistic. It’s not disingenuous or deceitful, it’s survival. I hate buzzwords in general but this (buzz phrase?) is one of my least favourites because it makes me feel incredible guilt and shame every time I hear it. I feel that if I try to explain my autistic masking, people will misinterpret that as me admitting to being fake or deceitful in some way. Masking doesn’t stop me being good at my job, from being productive or adding value. But it does make me feel guilty, because surely if being authentically ‘me’ were good enough, I could do that in all areas of my life and feel confident that I’d be accepted. Masking isn’t me lying. I’m not pretending to be better than I am at my job or making out I have different experience or skills. I’m just suppressing the parts of me that won’t fit in. Things about myself that I’ve learnt over time, from both implicit and explicit feedback, are not widely accepted. ...
Neurodivergence Glossary – my why For me, words are really important. I’ve always loved studying languages, linguistics, and reading everything I can get my hands on. But recently, a whole new set of words has had a huge impact on my life. For decades of my life, I didn’t have the words to describe what was going on inside my head. For years, I was stuck with the terms ‘depression’ and ‘anxiety’ when I now know that what I was experiencing were autistic burnout and sensory overwhelm. For years I labelled myself as ‘broken’ when really, I was just ‘different’. The difference in those terms is massive for me. ...
As I reflected on my journey since discovering, in my mid-thirties, that I’m autistic, I realised it has taken lots of unlearning, relearning and self-discovery. It’s been emotional and it’s only the start. Here are just a few of the things I’ve learnt so far: Learning a whole new vocabulary Alexithymia, interoception, executive function, echolalia to name a few. Having new words to explain many parts of how I experience the world has been powerful when it comes to understanding myself and being able to advocate for my needs. ...
5 things you can do right now to make your workplace more neurodivergent-inclusive (that don’t have to cost you anything except a bit of time and consideration): Provide clear agendas for all meetings, with plenty of advance notice. Let us know what to expect, if we need to prepare anything in advance, if it will be interactive (and what that will look like) and what the key objectives and outcomes are. ...
Create a safe and supportive environment - create safe space for all employees to feel comfortable to raise concerns or ask for support. It’s all well and good having resources and processes available, but people need to feel safe to actually access these in the first place. Employee Resource Groups and networks can offer safe spaces for people to ask questions they may not be comfortable going to a line manager with. Provide reasonable adjustments - this is actually your legal obligation anyway, but ensure you have a clear, simple and well communicated process for requesting reasonable adjustments to ensure your employees’ needs are supported and they are set up for success. Train all staff on autism - provide training on autism to all employees to increase knowledge and understanding, reduce damaging stereotypes or misinformation and to demonstrate to autistic employees that you are genuinely keen to support them. Minimise uncertainty - lack of clarity can often cause anxiety and distress for autistic folk. Keep all communications clear, precise and offer easy opportunities for people to ask clarifying questions or for additional information if they need it. Seek to remove ambiguity from all processes and interactions wherever possible. Connect employees with specific resources and support - provide signposting to neuro-affirming resources and support services that specifically take into account and understand the autistic experience. Be aware that generic mental health support services may well not be useful or appropriate for autistic folk and can even lead to damaging outcomes. And above all, if you’ve created the safe space required, ask autistic folk what they need and want. Listen to them. And believe them. ...
Call me daft, but wouldn’t all of these workplace accommodations for neurodivergent employees actually benefit everyone? 🌟 Clear agendas sent out well in advance for all meetings 🌟 Clear and unambiguous language used in all internal communications 🌟 Timely and specific information provided about upcoming changes 🌟 Quiet spaces and sensory friendly environments in all offices 🌟 Flexible working policies that genuinely are flexible 🌟 Scheduled meeting-free and uninterrupted periods of working time ...
Back in July, we celebrated Disability Pride month. Here I share some thoughts on what this month means to me, and how others can get involved, not just in July, but throughout the year, to support the disabled community. What disability pride means to me I think Disability Pride can be a difficult concept for some people to get their heads around. It doesn’t have to be about being proud of the things we struggle with. You can have pride and still be frustrated by your disability. Both can be true. For me, Disability Pride is about dignity, self-respect and knowing that who you are is valid. Loving yourself as you are and feeling free to take up space in the world without needing to change yourself. ...
My main special interests Music - I have always loved music, and it’s rare you’ll find me out and about without my headphones blaring. I love live music and gigs are one of the rare crowded and loud environments that I actually enjoy, and where I feel a genuine connection with others. There are specific bands, albums and even songs that I will listen to on repeat for days or weeks, that help me process my feelings and tune out the noise of the rest of the world when I need to. Words and language- reading, writing, learning foreign languages…these have all played a huge part in my life over the years. When the world is too big and loud, or when I struggle to express myself vocally, writing things down has always helped me to process emotions and difficult times. Animals – whether it’s my pets that just seem to get me and tune into my mood, or spending time out in nature with animals, I feel instantly calmer around them. I often find animals easier than people, and they definitely don’t seem as judgmental or confusing! Autism - I’d also say autism has become a special interest since my diagnosis, as I’ve dived into learning as much as I can about it. Why they are important to me Special interests help me to regulate myself. They provide comfort when I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed and a sense of familiarity and calm. They can also be a great way of connecting with others, as they provide a way to open conversations and build connections with people who share my interests. Finding people who love the things I love and are passionate about those things is brilliant, but I also find other people’s special interests in general a great way to bond. There’s nothing better for me than watching and listening to someone describing something their passionate about. ...